I’ve been watching Star Trek: Voyager as it’s being replayed on Spike. I vaguely remember a few of the final episodes, but I missed most of the last few seasons due to probably many of the same reasons most of you missed it: I just didn’t care at the time.
But earlier this year, I made my way through a thorough re-watching of Star Trek: The Next Generation and Deep Space 9.
So when I realized that the re-runs I was watching were only Season Five, and I’d have to wait until Season Seven to see the whole ending, I cheated and looked for some spoilers on the net. I turned to Memory Alpha, the official canon wiki of all things Star Trek.
I started by looking at the final episode of Star Trek Voyager – and of course like millions of Star Trek fans, was sorely disappointed by the contrived ending.
Of course, I ended up spending a lot of time clicking from here to there on the official Star Trek Canon Timeline, at which point, I had to start sharing my discoveries with co-cynic, Sean P. Aune.
Then this chat conversation happened.
rizzn: I've been watching voyager reruns as they come on Spike every week… as it turns out, there's a buttload of them I've missed.
sean: do you hate yourself?
rizzn: well, I want to finally get the full story - i never saw how it ended.
i'm looking at the episode guide - apparently, i'm only in the middle of season 5. I apparently missed the last four seasons entirely.
sean: good point for you to notice how Chakotay became set dressing
rizzn: hehe
sean: I kept expecting an ensign to walk by and dust him
rizzn: did he have a drug problem or something?
couldn't rely on him to show up for shooting?
sean: no, they just really had no clue what to do with his character
rizzn: well, in terms of superpowers relative to star trek's universe, the only thing he has going for him is that tattoo and his meditation. not that stellar.
sean: exactly
rizzn: "hey, I'm chakotay. wanna smoke some electronic peyote?"
[editor’s note: for other related reading, see Chakotay, the walking plot hole.]
sean: they really did think out his limitation. kind of the same with Kim.
"Hello, I'm Lt. Kim, you'll be torturing me this week"
rizzn: well, Kim was an ensign. that was his job.
sean: was he an ensign?
rizzn: just like wil wheaton
sean: I thought he was a Lt, oh well
rizzn: his job was to barely avoid dying. he may have been promoted at some point. but for the majority of it, he was an ensign.
sean: it was an okay series, it just could have been a lot more
sean: I -really- wanted Voyager to look more and more messed up as the series went on. like, pipes sticking out of the walls where they had to rig fixes.
rizzn: I'm reading the summary of the finale. is it just me, or is this BS.
sean: oh it was total BS.
rizzn: did they get cancelled out of the blue or something? seems like a patchwork ending
sean: nope, they knew it was coming?
rizzn: really.
wow.
And they couldn't magically find out how to fix up the warp core to do transwarp in the middle of season 7? I mean seriously. That's shite.
sean: yeppers
32 minutes later..
rizzn: are there any future star trek series in planning you know of?
sean: none
rizzn: or did Enterprise pretty much kill that idea.
sean: blame Archer
rizzn: heh
sean: but no, they're waiting to see how the movie does before they try anything.
rizzn: hrm. hopefully it isn't all remakes from here out.
sean: agreed
rizzn: i will say this, surfing "Memory Alpha" is fun.
sean: heh, yeah, been there a few times
14 minutes later…
rizzn: hah! never knew there was a "memory beta" that included non-canon stuff. wonder if that includes all the porno fanfic
sean: oh good lord.
rizzn: or is that reserved for memory gamma
7 minutes later …
rizzn: btw, yes, it includes fanfic, but only published fanfic, i think.
sean: oh good god
rizzn: i.e. http://memory-beta.wikia.com/wiki/Strange_New_Worlds_VII
sean: -shakes head- That's just insane
rizzn: you think that's bad - imagine how bad it's going to be when UGC powered immersive worlds are feasible.
sean: eek!
rizzn: you know that every contributor to those wikia's dreams for that day.sean: oh yeah
rizzn: the irony is, they'll spend most of their time creating holodeck simulations.
sean: more than likely, and I am sure 99.8% of them will involve sex
rizzn: haha, indeed. probably ‘7 of 9’ fantasies, or stuff involving alt.sexy.bald.captains
sean: hehehehe
18 minutes later …
rizzn: ok, i've got to quit
sean: lol
rizzn: i'm reading so far into the future, they're discussing timeline discrepancies in the 31st century
sean: ROFL .. damn those 31st century problems
rizzn: well - the thing is i knew what they were talking about when it was mentioned in the article. What does that say about me?
sean: lol i know the feeling
rizzn: hrm - apparently the timeline stops at the 31st century.
Oh good grief.
Non-canon stuff goes to the year 1,012,260
15 minutes later …
no no.. one more thing, you gotta hear this synopsis.
“In the year 1012260, the crew of the Mega-Federation starship USS UberEnterprise (NCC-1701-∞), under joint command of James T. Kirk and Jean-Luc Picard, after nearly a million years of exploring most of the universe, at long last encounters the Milky Way Galaxy in the Bootes Void, millions of light-years from where it should exist in this time. Most of the crew is happy at this, but Data, who has not left his quarters in five thousand years, has become something of a crazy hermit, and acting as if their mission is useless.”
sean: WTF?
rizzn: haha
sean: the UberEnterprise... god bless geeks. I am going to write a fic that features the MegaNiftySuperDuperEnterprise.
(NCC-1701-∞X2)
rizzn: bwahaha. this is so going into a blog post.
sean: lol
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